MAJOR Controversy

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Few controversies — religion, politics, hairstyle, etc. — incite people against each other more than the age old question: which is better, a cat or a dog? Despite research, vicious debates, and open war, nobody seems to agree on either side.

Well, that’s about to change. Prepare to have the issue settled in your mind… after reading…

Cat vs. Dog

One day, on one of the lonely roads in CA, three dogs and a cat were dumped out of a fast-moving truck. The dogs set about howling about their condition, but the cat just calmly cleaned itself and lay down. Presently, an old dilapidated truck came rattling down the road. Inside was a poor farmer who worked night and day trying to raise enough money for his family. He was on the lookout for a dog to guard his grain silo from foxes. Upon seeing the small menagerie of animals on the roadside, he quickly pulled to a stop and opened his door. The dogs began barking and playing around the man joyously; the cat just lay there. After much deliberation, the old farmer picked a dog to his liking and drove off down the road, the dog smiling at his success. The two remaining dogs mocked the cat for not showing interest. “You’ll die out here acting like that,” they said.

A few minutes later, a scientist in a specimen van drove by. When he saw the animals, he stopped at once. His lab was in need of an animal to do tests on. The dogs once again jumped around happily, but the cat hissed when the man approached it. The scientist picked the happiest dog and drove off. The selected dog was delighted at his seemingly good fortune, and the dog left behind knew he would be the next to go. The cat ignored his constant jeering.

Not long thereafter, a convoy of NASA trucks drove by. It was on its way to launch the first living specimen into space. Unfortunately, the living specimen had yet to be found. The engineers wanted an old creature, since the mission might fail. When the dog saw a truck stop, he just lay there and wagged his tail, since he knew he would be picked over the irritable cat. He guessed correctly. As the happy men put a collar around his neck and led him off, the dog couldn’t resist snickering back at the cat, who still lay quietly on the side of the road.

Two hours passed slowly and the sun began to sink in the sky. Far off in the distance an engine could be heard purring as it came closer and closer. Bill Gates was on his way home from an important meeting. The billionaire was bothered, though: his wife’s birthday was today, and he had nothing to give her. He wanted something quiet, inconspicuous, and low-maintenance. His spotlights swept around a curve in the road, and there sat the cat…

And so, to all that mock, scorn, or otherwise despise the feline race, I offer my condolences. Good night.

7 Comments

  1. Mee-ow!! Cat > dog. Although I have a dog, who is a good dog. But nonetheless.

  2. Wraith Daquell says:

    Well, truth be told, I have a dog as well. And not a cat. At times, dogs are much better than cats (trying to get a bobcat to pull a sled? nu uh). But most people like dogs better so I have to fan the flames by claiming to prefer cats.

  3. Most people like dogs better? I wouldn’t know. And since when were you a fanner of flames? =P

  4. Wraith Daquell says:

    In my limited sphere of influence, most people who vocalize their opinions about animals seem to indicate that they like dogs better. However, a limited sphere of influence is… well… limited…

    I became a fanner of flames officially when I posted this post, and stopped being a fanner of flames shortly thereafter. 😛

  5. wardly says:

    Okayyyyyyyyyyy……lets just say the cat waited all day and some rich dude never happened to come? What’s it gonna do,starve to death by the road?
    Dogs totally rule!

  6. Wraith Daquell says:

    I’m sorry, friend, but if its need was great, it would hunt the wild desert bats that inhabit California.

  7. wardly says:

    Wild Desert Bats are going extinct…bad kitty…

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