Imagine: morbidity or happy surprise

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Take a break from your busy work world and just imagine:

10:52 AM ) You have just tightened the last fastener for your backpack.

10:54 AM ) The long line of jumpers in front of you begin to pace towards the hangar.

11:14 AM ) Your plane is taxiing towards the runway.

11:57 AM ) After over a half-hour of delays, you are airborne. The trees below are smaller than the ones in your model train set.

12:37 PM ) Approaching the jump-site. Stay calm at all costs.

12:42 PM ) All jumpers to positions. Something feels odd to you. Ivan tells you it’s just pre-jumping anxiety.

12:45 PM ) Jumpers 1, 2, and 3 have leapt into thin air. You are number 14.

12:47 PM ) Three . . . Two . . . One . . .

12:47 PM ) You suddenly wish you had taken the Hawaii vacation instead.

12:48 PM ) Actually, even though they had to shove you out of the plane, falling through 12,000 feet of nothingness feels quite good.

12:52 PM ) Approaching parachute pull-time. The sick feeling is back.

12:53 PM ) Sick feeling is gone again. Replaced with absolute terror. The parachute didn’t pull.

12:55 PM ) Amidst the sobbing and flailing, your mind gives you one last sane moment. It shows you your desk, with a neatly-folded parachute on it. You put it there last night so you wouldn’t forget it this morning.

12:56 PM ) The ground is coming up fast. Extremely fast. The toy trees are getting bigger. It’s hard to tell whether the roaring in your ears or the screams coming from your throat are louder.

12:57 PM ) …

Did you wake up and realize it was only a dream, or did you hit?

Now, get back to reality and go back to work.


  1. I stretched out my wings and flew away. Wasn’t that fun? ^^

  2. Wraith Daquell says:

    I forgot about the flying rabbits! Would an EFAWR be able to contain itself enough to go sky-diving?

  3. A recent researcher has reported seeing EFAWRs flying up high, then folding up their wings and plummeting before they spread wings again to prevent crashing. However, it is not certain whether this was actually true, or a byproduct of the locals plying him with fermented wine.

  4. Wraith Daquell says:

    If we were still EFAWR-questing, we’d have to add that in somewhere.

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